


They See Me Larkin, They Hatin

by blue_pointer



Series: A Glorious Retelling [59]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Flashings, Angst, Arcane texting, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon Timeline, Chance Meetings, Comedy, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dad Grog, Don't copy to another site, Dragonslaying, Fluff and Smut, Fools, Found Family, Friendship, Goliath Rituals, Grog can't read, Hug Layaway, Hugs, Humor, Ice breath, Larkin Watch, Lockheed is Gilmore's cat, Lost in Translation, Lying to your girlfriend, M/M, Metallic Dragon!Gilmore, Minor Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Minor Kima/Allura Vysoren, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Jarett Howarth, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Name Changes, Oranges, POV Grog, POV Shaun Gilmore, Perfect Boyfriend Jarett, Rivalry, SCRYING, Smart Grog, Texting, Trust, Viagra the Frigid Doom, Vorugal, Worry, bros being bros, conversations in Marquesian, minor Grog Strongjaw/Shaun Gilmore, minor Travis Willingham/Laura Bailey, tea and comfort, what makes bitches shady?, whisper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: Behind the scenes of the slaying of Vorugal. Grog’s friendship with Gilmore solidifies, Allura worries about Kima, and Vax dies.
Relationships: Kima & Grog Strongjaw, Shaun Gilmore & Allura Vysoren, Shaun Gilmore & Grog Strongjaw, Shaun Gilmore & Kima, Shaun Gilmore/Jarett Howarth, Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan
Series: A Glorious Retelling [59]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831
Comments: 16
Kudos: 20





	1. High EQ

**Author's Note:**

> If you love this title, you can credit the great Sam Riegal.  
> If you hate this title, blame the great Sam Riegal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grog promised to visit Gilmore when they returned from Ank’Harel. And he has some questions.

For quite some time, Gilmore sat alone in the library, stunned, trying to gather his panicked thoughts. So long, in fact, that Lockheed became bored with nibbling his beard and flew back to the hearth. At some point, Gilmore heard heavy footsteps behind him and turned just in time to see Grog lifting his kilt against a bookshelf. 

He blinked. “Grog?” 

“Whu--” Grog whirled around. Fortunately, he had not yet loosed the stream. Unfortunately, he was exposed for all to see. Gilmore quickly shielded his eyes out of politeness; it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. “Gilmore?!” He hurriedly tucked himself back together. “What are you doin’ here?” Grog strode over toward the fire. 

“Just thinking,” Gilmore replied with a tired smile. “You?” 

Grog scratched the back of his neck, self-conscious. “Just claimin’ my territory.” 

“I see. Indoors?” 

“Sure. If I only do it outside, other goliaths might think the inside isn’t mine, too.” 

“Well...I suppose that’s true.” An awkward silence passed. Finally, Grog found a chair that would fit him and dragged it over so that they could talk. 

“How are you, Gilmore? You didn’t come drinking with us last night. You missed a good time.”

“No doubt.” Jarett had been quite drunk when he’d come home. “But I wouldn’t have been much fun, I’m afraid.” 

“Nah. You’re always fun,” Grog waved a hand as if to brush aside assertions to the contrary. 

Gilmore offered a rueful smile. “Not when I haven’t slept for a week.” 

“A week?” Grog looked impressed. “The longest I ever went was three days.” 

“Oh? And why did you not sleep for three days?” 

“Aw, well.” Grog looked down, fidgeting with his amulet. “There was this sword, see, only it got stronger if I didn’t sleep.” He looked so much younger at times like this. Gilmore supposed he probably was younger than the others, given a goliath’s shorter lifespan. 

“Ah, yes. I remember. The one that killed you.” 

“Well. Yeah.” Grog nodded sheepishly. 

“Would it help if I told you I destroyed it?” Surely it couldn’t hurt to confess having done that.

“What? Aw, what a waste!” Grog was visibly upset. 

“Would you like to know how many people it ate before you?” Grog clearly didn’t understand how dangerous Craven Edge had been.

“W--it did?” Grog put his hands on his knees, leaning forward. 

“Yes. Roughly five others, if I recall. Including Sylas Briarwood.” Sylas Briarwood, who’d tried to go on one last rampage on his way out.

“You mean that fancy vampire guy?” 

Gilmore nodded. “That's the one.”

“But I thought Keyleth killed him.” 

Hadn’t Cassie said the same thing? Clearly Keyleth needed more practice. Gilmore just smiled and shrugged. 

“So the sword’s gone, then?” 

“I’m afraid so. But that also means none of your enemies can find it and use it against you,” Gilmore pointed out. 

“I guess.” Grog didn’t seem convinced. 

Time to change the subject. “I heard you were going to fight a dragon tomorrow.” 

“Yeh.” Grog nodded. “Everyone’s gettin’ ready and plannin’ and stuff.” 

“Except you?” Surely he had some affairs to put in order.

“My plan is to kill everything,” Grog said. 

“Good plan.” It had certainly worked for Grog in the past.

“It doesn’t take much time to plan,” Grog confessed. 

Gilmore tried not to laugh. “No, I suppose not.” 

“Hey, Gilmore.”

“Yes, Grog?”

“How come you changed your name? Your parents told us your name used to be Qadhadh’mor. That’s pretty different from Gilmore.” 

Indeed. “Do you think I was wrong to do it?” 

“No. Not really. I was just wonderin’ why. It seems like an okay name.” Of course, Grog came at this from a unique perspective.

Fine. A short lesson in xenophobia then. “Have you ever noticed how some people treat you differently from the rest of Vox Machina?” 

“Um. Yeah.” Grog leaned forward to show he was listening. 

“Why do you think that is?” 

“I guess ‘cause I’m big. And I look different from most people. Plus I’m, like. Really handsome.”

“That’s true.” Gilmore smiled, amused. 

Grog leapt from his chair. “You think I’m handsome?!”

“Well, of course!” Gilmore smiled. “Aren’t you?” 

“Uh...yeah! Only...not everyone thinks so.” His shoulders sagged visibly.

“Well, who cares what everyone thinks?” 

Grog considered this. “Keyleth. Usually. And Vex. But she hides it pretty well.” 

“That’s very insightful, Grog.” Gilmore could have argued that all of them did. Vax because of his inner saboteur, Percival because of his superiority complex, and Pike because she was a people-pleaser. So, all of them but Scanlan, who seemed to have no conscience and even less shame. 

“Oh.” Grog hung his head. “Sorry.”

“No, no! That’s a good thing,” Gilmore reassured him. 

“If you say so.” Grog shrugged.

Gilmore smiled. “I most certainly do.” 

“Wait.” Grog thought hard. “Did you answer my question, though?” He sat back down.

“I was getting to that,” Gilmore said. He hadn’t gone off-topic on purpose. “You see, people treat me differently, too, here in Tal’Dorei.”

“Nuh uh.” 

“Yes, because I’m from Marquet. Even in Emon, there are those who simply don’t like me because I’m from somewhere else.” 

“Who does that?” Grog scowled, slapping one large fist into his palm. “I’ll turn them into pudding.” 

“Thank you, Grog dear, but that won’t be necessary.” It was a sweet gesture, though. “My point is, many people are suspicious of those who are different from them. And a very Marquesian surname like Qadhadh’mor, well...let’s just say it’s difficult to transcribe into Common, and people who aren’t familiar with Marquet can’t even pronounce it.” 

“Really?” Grog asked. “But I can.” 

“That’s, true, Grog. You lack the disadvantage of literacy, in this case.” Grog squinted a little, trying to understand. “Because you learned it phonetically--and of course because you’re very clever--you know how to say it. But many reading it would become confused.”

“So...you changed it so people wouldn’t be confused?” 

Gilmore sighed. “No, I changed it because I didn’t want to hear it mispronounced daily. And well, Gilmore is a nice name all on its own. Not to mention it rolls off the tongue more easily than Qadhadh’mor’s Glorious Goods, you have to admit.”

“Well that’s true,” Grog agreed. “But I still don’t think you should’ve had to change it just because of other people who can read.” 

“That’s a kind sentiment, Grog, and I do appreciate it. To be honest, in the end, I didn’t _have_ to,” Gilmore said. “I chose to.” 

“So is your other name really Shaun?” Grog asked.

“Let’s just say I prefer Gilmore. Because I got to choose it, and sometimes the things we choose for ourselves are really the best things, aren’t they?” 

Grog thought about this. “Like when I chose Pike and Wilhand over the herd?”

“Yes! Exactly like that.” He had these moments of brilliance. Gilmore really thought Grog’s intelligence was underrated. Certainly, his emotional intelligence was quite high.

Grog smiled, pleased that he’d understood something for once. “Alright, then. Gilmore.” 

Gilmore smiled. “Thank you for understanding, Grog.” 

“No, thank _you,_ Gilmore. You always teach me a lot.” He nodded.

Gilmore inclined his head. “It’s my pleasure.”

“I’m sorry we can’t visit longer.” Grog glanced toward the door. “I should probably check and see if the others are ready for dragon-killing yet.” He stood, reluctantly. 

“You are in charge, after all,” Gilmore said.

“Yeh.” Grog nodded, tucking his thumbs into his belt, proudly. “Plus I gotta go find Vex, and give her a potion for her boobies.”

Gilmore’s eyebrows shot up. “I see.” 

“I did.” Grog nodded. “So she earned it.” He hesitated, about to turn away. “Is it okay if I have a hug before we go?” 

“Of course it is.” Gilmore stood up and prepared himself. This time, he was nearly able to hug Grog back as the life was crushed out of him. “Be safe, Grog. Please come back in one piece.” 

“Aw, I will.” Grog smiled his sweet, boyish smile. “Bye, Gilmore!” He waved.

“Goodbye, Grog, dear.” He felt a bit better after his talk with Grog. Gilmore gathered his beleaguered nerves and rose, scooping Lockheed up from the hearth and back into his robe before he left the library.

He supposed it was probably time he left the castle. But Gilmore really wanted to see Vax’ildan first. They’d gotten no time together apart from hanging onto one another during the group chat last night, and then spending a few hours unconscious in his bed. He wanted to actually speak with Vax; to check in. But Gilmore couldn’t find him anywhere in the castle, and Kima had forbade him from doing spells for at least the rest of today, which meant no scrying to see where Vax was. The strongest scent of him was in the old war room, no doubt where Raishan had revealed herself to them this morning. But Vax had long since gone from there. 

Sighing in defeat, Gilmore decided to just cut his losses and head home. There was still much sleep to be caught up on. And if Vax was not in the castle, there was a chance Gilmore might run into him on the walk home.


	2. The Anxieties of Allura Vysoren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilmore tries to keep Allura sane as Vox Machina leaves for Draconia with Kima. It’s Jarett’s job to keep Gilmore sane.

Gilmore didn’t run into Vax on the walk home. But he did pass Kima when he was about halfway there, rushing up toward the castle in full armor, dragging her maul behind her. “Can’t talk now, gonna go kill a chromatic dragon!” she shouted as she jogged by. 

“Come back safe, young lady,” he called after her. She waved him off as she jogged away, far too excited for Gilmore’s liking. 

When he got home, Sherri was still asleep. Gilmore made himself a pot of tea and was just sitting down for a little peace and quiet when there came a knock on the door. It was Allura. “Oh good, you’re home,” she said, her pale face pinched with worry. Gilmore invited her in to join him, fetching another cup and saucer from the kitchen. “Shaun, do you know what Vox Machina are up to? They were acting strangely this morning, and asking me questions about a level nine spell scroll.” 

“Oh?” Gilmore set the cup down in front of her. 

“They wanted to know if I could cast it. And now they’ve got Kima running around talking about fighting a dragon? Do you know what’s going on? She hardly let me get a word in before she went dashing off toward the castle.” 

“Well,” Gilmore said, taking a seat on the couch. “My understanding was that they weren’t setting off for Wildemount until tomorrow. But I did pass Kima on my way back from the castle just a bit ago.” 

Understandably, the Arcanist looked very concerned. “They’re fighting Thordak? Now?”

Gilmore poured tea for both of them. “Ah, no. Vorugal, the white dragon, is first on the list. I certainly hope they aren’t planning on going after Thordak any time soon.” 

She sat back with a concerned frown, her tea ignored. “Well, why didn’t Kima let me give her a cold warding charm at least?” 

Perhaps Kima had been spending too much time in the company of Vox Machina. Could their lack of sense be catching? “She seemed quite enthusiastic,” Gilmore said, sipping his tea. 

“I’m sorry,” Allura said, rising from her chair. “I think I should go find her. Just in case they do decide to leave early. She seemed to think they were leaving right away.”

“Do you know where they were supposed to meet?” Gilmore asked. “I spent half the day looking for Vax’ildan without any luck. I think they’re all rushing about, getting ready for tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Allura thought about this. “No.” She sat back down, still worried. 

“Besides,” he reassured her. “If they are leaving tonight, they’ll have to come past us on their way to the sun tree. So don’t worry. We can catch them that way. Though I honestly think Kima will be back in less than an hour to spend the night at home before they leave in the morning.”

“I hope you’re right,” she said.

“I usually am,” Gilmore said, passing her the plate of biscuits. 

He wasn’t. The Transport via Plants spell went off less than an hour later, while he and Allura were discussing the siphon. 

Allura was not happy. Gilmore promised her they would scry to make sure everyone was safe for the night. Certainly Kima--if not the others--was too smart to fight a white dragon at night in a blizzard. Allura tried scrying first and panicked, because she couldn’t find Kima. 

“It’s alright,” Gilmore said calmly. “I’m sure they’re just inside Mordenkeinen’s Magnificent Mansion. Scanlan has been able to cast it for a while now.”

“Then why can’t I see her?” Allura was so worked up, she was forgetting her basics. 

“It’s in another dimension,” Gilmore reminded her. “Now let’s give it a few minutes, and I’ll try scrying again.” **He** could scry into other dimensions, but this was not the time to bring that up. It would only lead to questions Gilmore did not feel like answering just now. His conversation with Vex’ahlia earlier had been revealing enough for a year.

When it was Gilmore’s turn to scry, he saw everyone safe and well. Kima had decided to sleep against the wall of the foyer out of distrust for Scanlan, for which he really couldn’t blame her. The others were talking of venturing out to speak with their local allies. “Can you see them?” Allura asked, urgently. Gilmore lied and said he could see Scanlan and Vax’ildan moving invisibly through the snow to go speak with the Ravenites. 

He wasn’t sure Allura believed him, but when she scried half an hour later, that was exactly what she saw. “You see?” Gilmore said. “And then they’ll be turning in for the night. Nothing to worry about for now.” 

But she made him continue until Vax and Scanlan were back safely. That must have been Keyleth who’d carried them to the door of the mansion on her back. Gilmore could have gone without seeing that. All the same, now they were all back in the mansion, he wasn’t certain Allura was going to leave until Jarett arrived some time after the dinner hour. 

“Apologies,” Jarett said, looking awkward. “I thought--”

“Jarett! Come in!” Gilmore welcomed him with a wide smile, needing rescue from the forced anxiety. 

“My lord?” Jarett looked confused when Gilmore practically ran to him and put an arm around him before he could leave. 

Allura sighed. “I suppose I should go.”

“They’re fine for tonight,” Gilmore assured her. “I promise. Try to get some rest. I’ll check in with you tomorrow, and we can do it all over again.” Allura nodded vaguely, and he hugged her good night. 

Once the door was closed, Gilmore leaned back against it, sighing heavily. _“You saved me, J’arett.”_

 _“Have you had the chance to sup yet, Gilt D’amour?”_ Jarett took his hand and kissed it before sweeping Gilmore into his arms. 

_“No,”_ Gilmore said pathetically.

 _“Then, allow me.”_ He escorted Gilmore to the kitchen where Jarett plied him with wine and prepared a quick lamb biryani for them to eat. 

_“What would I do without you, J’arett?”_ Gilmore asked, pouring his third glass of wine while they waited for the rice to finish.

_“God willing, you will never have to find out.”_

Gilmore smiled at him across the table. _“You’re very smooth, aren’t you?”_

Jarett offered an enigmatic smile and fed Gilmore an olive.

After dinner, he prepared a bath for Gilmore, which inevitably led to other things. Gilmore had one leg over Jarett’s shoulder and was doing his best to keep his head from hitting the wall behind him when he felt Keyleth’s Transport via Plants spell again. _“What the--?”_ Were they back? Gilmore patted Jarett’s chest to get him to stop. 

_“Is something wrong, my lord?”_ Jarett asked, his eyes glazed over with lust. 

_“I think...have they returned?”_

Jarett let him go, looking disappointed. _“Have they?”_

Gilmore threw on a robe and sat down to scry. No. They were all still in the mansion. Only now… “Pike.” 

“Pike?” Jarett was drinking the second bottle of wine right out of the bottle. 

Gilmore sighed. _“She must have returned for Pike.”_

 _“They did not take Pike before?”_ Jarett’s expression said everything. 

_“Apparently not.”_

_“Well then.”_ Jarett tossed the empty bottle over his shoulder and placed a hand on either side of Gilmore on the bed. _“Where were we?”_

Gilmore kissed him, chuckling gently. _“I don’t know, general. I’m feeling a little tired just now…”_

 _“Don’t worry,”_ Jarett promised. _“I’ll do most of the work.”_ Gilmore laughed, delighted, when Jarett gently tugged off his robe and tossed it across the room. 

*

The next morning, Jarett left early to return to his duties. But not before showing Gilmore his appreciation. As he was already awake, Gilmore chose to get up with Jarett and do his morning ablutions before Allura could show up and throw a large anxiety wrench into the careful machinery of his day. 

He passed Sherri on her way back from the castle, giving her a hug as she prepared for bed. “I left breakfast for you,” she said. 

“That’s very kind,” Gilmore told her. 

“It’s just toast and coffee,” Sherri admitted. 

“That sounds perfect.” After finishing breakfast and doing some meditating, Gilmore took the short walk over to Allura and Kima’s. It would be better if he were at their house; that way when Gilmore was ready to stop scrying and take some time for himself, he could just leave instead of trying to politely get Allura to vacate the premises. 

She greeted him at the door with a smile. “I saw Kima! She’s safe!” 

“That’s lovely!” Gilmore said, greeting her with a hug. “I assume you mean by scrying.” 

“Oh, yes.” Allura led the way into their charming parlor where tea was already prepared. “It seems they’re moving the mansion to the outskirts of where they plan to attack today.” 

“Lovely.” Oh, _there_ were the razor-winged butterflies in his stomach. Gilmore hadn’t missed them. 

“Or tomorrow, rather. I think Keyleth has to replenish her spells after coming back for Pike last night.” 

“That seems sensible. Would you like me to take another look?” 

“I think we can wait a bit,” Allura said, much more calm than she’d been yesterday. “I have a feeling they’ll be waiting in the mansion for the rest of the day.” 

When Gilmore did scry, they were outside the mansion, conferring with a dwarf who had suspiciously immaculate eyebrows. Definitely Raishan. Innocently, Pike attempted to speak to Larkin in Dwarvish. But the dwarf refused to do so--allegedly out of politeness for those present who did not speak the language. Clever. 

Gilmore was already chuckling, then, when Grog proceeded to tell Larkin that all dragons were dicks, forcing her to repeat the sentiment. A bit sadistic, but Gilmore was proud of Grog for knowing what was going on, for once. 

He was about to let go and tell Allura what he’d seen, when the children went back inside the mansion and Vax turned to the group in frustration. “Also, we’ve no fucking idea where Raishan is or what she’s going to do, if anything.” He gestured anxiously as he spoke, and then the group went very quiet.

Keyleth grinned. Scanlan made a small ‘aroo?’ noise. “We know the one place she _isn’t_ is in here,” Percy replied. 

Vex’ahlia stared in disbelief at her brother. “Larkin is Raishan. _Really?_ ” 

Grog perked up at this, eager to witness someone being less intelligent than he. “Holy shit! **I** even got that!” Everyone burst out laughing at the confused look on Vax’ildan’s face, including Gilmore, who fell back out of his trance. 

“What?” Allura asked. “What is it?” 

Gilmore wiped the tears from his eyes. “Ah, it’s nothing. My Vax’ildan is just lucky he’s so pretty.” 

She gave him a confused look and a smile. After that, it really did seem Vox Machina was going to stay in and rest for the coming battle tomorrow. Gilmore stayed for a little while longer, but Allura was content to let him go after she’d scried twice more and seen no one outside the mansion. 

He told her they would meet before dawn to watch the battle together. “I’m sure everything will be fine,” he told her. “After all, they have Kima with them.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Allura said. Gilmore hoped she would be able to sleep. He was planning to take a _long_ nap before Jarett got home this evening. 


	3. Outsmarted By Grog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grog wants to use the arcane parchment so he can talk to Gilmore. Vax says he can’t have it. So Grog gets smart.

Grog was still picking his teeth from the awesome Hero’s Feast Pike had made, when he saw Vax heading upstairs alone. He followed, casually grabbing the rogue by the ankle just as Vax got to the top of the stairs. “What?!” he turned to hiss at Grog, like an angry bunny rabbit. 

“Hey, did you call Gilmore to tell him we’re safe?” 

Vax glanced around to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “What do you mean, call Gilmore? He can’t hear us from here.” 

“Uh. Yeah he can,” Grog reminded him. “The magic paper?”

“Damn. I was hoping you’d forgotten about that,” Vax said. 

“I don’t forget things,” Grog said. “I just sometimes don’t understand stuff.” 

“That’s putting it mildly.” Grog gave Vax’s ankle a little shake, and he stopped making fun of Grog pretty quickly. “Let me go, dickhead!” the rogue hissed again. 

“Are you gonna call him?” Grog asked, generously giving Vax the opportunity to do so. 

“No!”

“Why not?” Grog asked.

“Because I’m fucking--it’s none of your business! That’s why.” 

“You’re fucking?” Grog thought about this as Vax drew one of his daggers and considered stabbing Grog’s hand. 

“I said let me go, arsehole!” 

“Give me the paper,” Grog said, reasonably. 

“Fuck you! Gilmore gave me that paper! You can’t have it!” 

“But you aren’t using it,” Grog pointed out. 

“It doesn’t matter!” Vax said, grabbing onto the bannister and trying to pull himself out of Grog’s grip. “It’s still mine!” 

Grog had half a mind to let him go and watch Vax go flying. “Is that what you think about Gilmore, too?”

“What are you even talking about?” Vax growled, unable to break free of Grog’s hold. 

“He’s yours, even if you don’t want him right now.” 

“What?” Vax turned on him. “That is not what I said!”

“Then give me the paper,” Grog said, holding out his free hand. 

“No!” Vax started to kick Grog’s hand with his other foot, trying to see if that would make Grog let go. It didn’t. 

“Give me the paper,” Grog raised his voice. “Or I’ll tell Keyleth your secret.” 

That got a reaction out of Vax. “Shhh! Will you shut the fuck up? Fine! But if I give you the paper, you have to give it right back!”

“Alright.” Grog waited patiently while Vax dug in his cloak for the paper. There was just one problem. 

“Oh, shit.” The look on Vax’s face said he’d fucked up more than usual.

“Don’t pretend you left it in Whitestone,” Grog said.

“No, I…” Vax looked panicked. “...accidentally gave it to Keyleth!”

Grog snorted. “Serves you right.” Then he did let go of Vax’s skinny little elf-man ankle, and Vax scampered off. Grog followed behind more slowly. 

*

“What do you mean you need your cloak back?” Keyleth was asking. “You gave me a thousand years...” 

“I did. And I meant it,” Vax said. “I just forgot to take all of my stuff out of the cloak first.” 

“Hi,” Grog said, waving as he wandered into the room. 

“See, I usually keep crayons and drawing paper in there for Grog, and he just reminded me.” 

“I just want the paper,” Grog said.

“Doesn’t the mansion have crayons and paper for Grog?” Keyleth asked. 

“Oh, probably,” Vax said. “But since I always carry some for him, and you probably don’t want to carry crayons and paper around everywhere--”

“I don’t mind carrying crayons around for Grog,” Keyleth said. “Maybe I can use them, too!” 

Vax was getting really annoyed. Grog could tell from the way his ears were turning red. “Okay. Sure. But let’s let Grog use them for now.” 

“Hey, Grog.” Keyleth smiled. “Wanna draw?” 

“I just want the paper,” Grog said. 

“Oh.” Her face fell. 

“But maybe we can draw, like. Afterwards,” Grog said. “Or if you want to turn into an earth elemental, we can spar instead.” 

“Okay!” Keyleth looked excited. 

Vax apologized while he fished inside her cloak, and then he turned back to Grog, holding something in his fist. “Do you promise to give it right back?” he asked Grog. 

“It’s okay, Vax,” Keyleth said. “I’m sure there’s plenty more paper. You can just keep it, Grog.”

“No, you can’t,” Vax said. “Or I will find you and shave your beard again in your sleep.” 

“Vax!” Keyleth said, shocked. 

“Yeah, Vax,” Grog said. “It’s only paper.” He stared a challenge down at the tiny elf-man. “Right?” 

Vax was glaring daggers at him as he finally handed over the paper. “That paper is mine,” he whispered threateningly. 

“What was that?” Grog asked, pretending he couldn’t hear. 

“I said enjoy your drawing, Grog,” Vax said through clenched teeth. 

“Oh, I will,” Grog said. “Maybe I’ll even marry it.” He strutted out of the room, feeling very proud of himself as Vax cursed him behind his back, and Keyleth scolded Vax for being so mean. 

Grog went down to the exercise room, because he knew Vax wouldn’t come down there. He never exercised. Grog waved at the paladin, who’d made a cozy corner for her gear and was working out like crazy, whaling on the practice dummies. Grog sat down on the weight bench and unrolled the paper. There were treadmarks on it from where he’d stamped on it to put out the imaginary fire. Good thing Vax hadn’t noticed. 

Grog stopped and thought for a moment. “Hey, Kima.”

“Hey, Grog,” she said, without turning around. Kima continued to whack and punch the dummies. 

“You wanna see something really cool?” 

She turned around. “What?” 

Grog waved her over. “Watch this.” He looked at the paper and suddenly drew a blank. Was he supposed to spit on it? Oh no. The letter. “Dear Gilmore. I am writin’ this letter to inform you that we are gettin’ ready to fight the white dragon tomorrow.” Kima wandered over, looking confused. “I believe his name is Viagra. Either way, he will be down for good once me and Kima get our weapons on him.”

“Grog, what are you doing?” Kima asked.

The paper was still blank, and Grog started to get nervous. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we’re all fine and safe. And--” He stopped, as letters began to burn into the paper. It was his name. “Hi Gilmore!” Grog waved, excited that the paper worked for him again. 

Then a bunch more words started to write themselves on the paper, and Grog got worried. “Um.” He looked up at Kima. “I think it’s for you.” 

Kima took the paper, curious. “He says thanks for telling him we’re okay,” she read. “He says Allie is really worried, but he’s been keeping her company. The two of them have been scrying on us.” 

“They have?” 

She nodded. “He said Vax hasn’t written to him.” Kima looked at Grog. “Oh, is this his paper?” Grog nodded. “Figures. Asshole.” 

“Heh. Yeah.” Grog smiled. 

Then she read a bunch of things without saying anything. Grog felt kind of left out. “He says...wait. You shady bitch. You know about Larkin?”

“Well...yeah,” Grog said, wondering what made bitches shady. 

“No, not you Grog,” she said. “Goldie, how did you know?” Grog could see more words burning into the paper. “Oh, you scried. Riiiiiight.” Kima looked at Grog. “What do you say, Grog. Do you believe him?” 

“I trust Gilmore,” Grog said with dignity. 

“Well that makes **one** of us,” she said. “You really do know how to wrap the boys around your little finger.” More words, and Kima started laughing. “Too much information!--hey, speaking of, how are things going over there with General Lovemuffin?” 

General Lovemuffin? Grog craned his neck toward the paper. Who was she talking about?

“Oh, _now_ he doesn’t want to tell us,” she said, looking over at Grog. Seeing something on his face, Kima’s tone suddenly changed. “Oh, hey. This was your paper. Do you want it back?” 

“No, it’s fine,” Grog said, generously. “Just read me what he’s sayin’. I trust you.” 

Kima read some more, quietly. “Ohhh. Sure. Sorry, Grog. Gilmore just told me--you usually communicate with pictures.” 

“Only when he wants to,” Grog said. 

“He said he’s sending you hugs.”

“He is?” Grog perked up. “Can I like. Put them on layaway and get them when we go back?” 

Kima was smiling. “He says yes, just don’t crush the life out of him when you do it.”

“Aw, I won’t.” Grog giggled, excited that he would get to hug Gilmore when they got home.

“He says he’s glad we have each other so you don’t have to sleep down here by yourself tonight.” 

“Aw, thanks, Gilmore.” Though Grog was really fine sleeping down here alone. He was used to it. 

“He also says don’t get killed tomorrow. Stay out of the dragon’s breath.” 

Grog chuckled. “Which one?” 

“Good point,” Kima said. “He says both, but mostly Vorugal’s ice breath.” 

“Oh yeah.” Grog thought about this. “We killed a white dragon before. Their breath is no joke.” And they liked the taste of giants, as he recalled. “The last one almost killed Scanlan and Percy.” 

“Welll, I’m kind of okay with the first part,” Kima said. Then she read something Gilmore wrote and laughed. “Okay, he’s saying we should get to sleep.” 

Grog looked over. “Did he draw the picture where he tucks me in again?” 

Kima gave him a strange look. After a few moments, she held the paper up, so Grog could see it for himself. “There, you happy?” 

Grog nodded. “Yeh.” He smiled. “Night, Gilmore.” 

“He says good night.” Grog got ready for sleep, but Kima was still reading. 

“What else did he say?” 

She rolled the paper up. “Just some stupid stuff about Vax.” 

“Oh yeah,” Grog remembered. “I’m supposed to give him his paper back.” 

“What? Fuck that,” Kima said, tucking it into her back pocket. “This is way too useful to be wasted on that guy.” 

Grog wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh, so he hid it behind his hand. 

“You don’t treat your man right, you don’t get your boo paper back,” she said, putting down her sleeping roll. 

“Yeah!” Grog said. “Agreed.” 

“I’m glad we’re on the same page, Grog.” She high-fived him before laying down her bedroll. “Let’s kick some ass tomorrow.” 

Grog pumped his fist. “Fuck yeah!” Then he curled up against Trinket and closed his eyes. Grog could sleep anywhere, but it was kind of nice having both Trinket and Kima for company tonight.


	4. Beloved Dead and Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vox Machina battles Vorugal, and Gilmore sees Vax die.

After writing to Kima and Grog, Gilmore started to feel nervous. The battle was tomorrow--in eight hours or less. To distract, he decided to cook dinner. 

When Jarett came home, Gilmore was happy for the distraction. He tried his best not to worry about the children, but it troubled him that Vax had not made contact, nor replied to the notes Gilmore had sent. Finally, he gave up, and let Jarett take him to bed. 

Gilmore wasn’t in the mood to do anything but sleep. Fortunately, Jarett understood. _“Focus on your rest, Gilt D’amour,”_ Jarett told him, pulling Gilmore close as they lay together. _“They will be fine. God watches over fools.”_

 _“Some gods, at least,”_ Gilmore murmured against Jarett’s chest. 

_“Then let the other gods do the watching for tonight,”_ Jarett advised. _“You need your rest.”_

Gilmore smiled secretly. _“I’m no god, J’arett.”_

 _“That is a matter of opinion,”_ Jarett said. 

_“Stop.”_ Gilmore said, teasingly. 

“ _Kiss me, and I will stop.”_

_“Oh, very well,”_ Gilmore pretended to give in only with great reluctance. _“But only because you’re making me.”_

Jarett chuckled, fingers gently holding Gilmore’s chin as he kissed him good and long. _“The things you awaken in me, my lord.”_

 _“Behave yourself, J’arett,”_ Gilmore said, flirty. _“You said I should rest, and I intend to. Besides, I’m quite familiar with the thing to which you refer.”_

 _“I think perhaps you are not yet to the point of being_ **_familiar_ ** _…”_

 _“Well, we’ve certainly met,”_ Gilmore said. 

_“True.”_ Jarett went on kissing him, but for both their sakes, Gilmore fell fast asleep anyway, before more could happen. 

*

Gilmore was awakened in the middle of the night by Kima triggering the enchantment on the arcane parchment he’d given Vax. She was standing in the foyer of Scanlan’s mansion, along with Keyleth, Grog, and Pike. “Hey, goldie. It’s starting. Tell Allie I love her. Things could get hairy today.” 

Wrapped in Jarett’s arms, Gilmore was loath to roll over and fumble out pen and arcane parchment. He did it as carefully as he could, not wanting to wake Jarett. 

_She knows. Be careful, and keep warm. And please heal my Vax when he needs it. I know he can be impudent, but I’d prefer he come back alive._

“No promises,” Kima said, before tucking the parchment away. But Gilmore knew she was joking. Her gruff exterior was only skin-deep. 

When Gilmore shifted his Sight to Vax, he found him just outside the mansion, stealthed behind a rock. Not exactly a good hiding place from a winged enemy. It was likely he’d volunteered to be Scanlan’s backup. Gilmore and Vax watched as the bard struggled with a spell scroll--no doubt the one Allura had mentioned two days ago. A Gate spell. Gilmore could tell by the blue arcane light bathing the snow around Vax that Scanlan had managed to cast it. But Gilmore had little time to be impressed, because suddenly a huge fiend was pulled through the Gate. Had Scanlan meant to do that? And, if so, why?

It must have been on purpose, because the bard immediately dropped the spell, trapping the fiend--a goristro, of all things--on the prime material plane. Scanlan seemed to think he was just going to leave at that point, but surely they knew fiends better by now?

Gilmore watched Vax’ildan’s body tense, and heard him whimper, “Ohhhhh Scanlan!” covering his mouth with both hands, as they both watched the goristro turn on the gnome. That was fine. Just so long as his Vax didn’t go rushing out to try to save Scanlan. “Just bamf to the door and go in!” Vax whispered, his voice cracking with anxiety.

But that didn’t seem necessary. The bard looked up, calmly, and cast Dominate Monster on the ancient fiend. Terrifying. Gilmore’d had no idea Scanlan was that powerful now. It would do well to be careful around him from now on--even more careful than he’d intended to be after the gnome’s threat of blackmail two weeks ago. What did this mean? Had he really discovered Gilmore’s true nature, or had he been bluffing? Gilmore wondered now. 

There was little time to ponder, as Vorugal came swooping down and engaged with the fiend. Scanlan, meanwhile, had leisurely disappeared back into the mansion, leaving Vax’ildan all alone within view of at least one of two very deadly enemies. It did not endear the gnome to Gilmore at all. But what was Vax doing? Why wasn’t he going back inside? Naturally, as soon as Vorugal landed, the white dragon used his breath weapon, missing Vax by mere yards, and causing Gilmore’s heart to beat erratically. 

He clutched his chest as he watched the two do battle. As soon as Vorugal took to the air to get out of the fiend’s reach, Gilmore began to pray quietly that he would ignore or somehow not see Vax hiding there in plain view. Another bout of fist-to-tooth combat, and Vorugal disappeared into the blizzard, unable to do significant damage to the goristro. The two foes seemed to be well-matched so far. Now if Vax would just go back inside the mansion with the others…

Gilmore’s worst fears were realized when he saw Vax’ildan withdraw his new plaything and throw it at Vorugal as the dragon hovered in mid-air, allowing the shadow magic to teleport him deep within Vorugal’s strike range. Vax seemed to think he could Teleport back just as quickly a moment later, yanking the dagger out of the dragon’s chest and throwing it to the ground, where it bounced and lay like a useless object. Vax’ildan summoned his raven’s wings, and that was when Vorugal struck. 

Even the rogue’s uncanny agility couldn’t save him completely from those icicle teeth as long as a man’s leg. The dragon bit into Vax’s torso as if he were a pesky fly, just missing his wings, and Gilmore cried out, fearing the rogue’s luck had finally ended. Somehow, Vax managed to fly away, diving back down toward his previous hiding place. 

_“My lord! My lord, what’s wrong?”_ Jarett shook Gilmore out of his trance before he could see if Vax had made it to safety. Gilmore must have awakened Jarett by accident. 

He put his arm around Jarett, close to tears. _“They’re fighting the dragon,”_ Gilmore whispered. _“Would you go and get the Arcanist? I need to watch.”_

_“Of course, Gilt D’amour. But this is no way for you to spend the next few hours. Let me help you get dressed, at least, and take you downstairs.”_

_“Yes, that’s…”_ Gilmore was distracted, tempted as he was to re-enter trance right away. _“That’s likely a good idea, J’arett.”_ He tried to focus on his breath as Jarett took care of him, but Gilmore lost his test of will and cast Scry again, his consciousness returning to Wildemount as Jarett picked out a robe for him. 

Like a madman, Vax had followed Whisper again and stabbed Vorugal in the tail. Didn’t he understand that dragons were supple creatures? Gilmore covered his physical eyes as Vorugal’s tail lashed, bludgeoning Vax again and again. Even a Flamestrike against the dragon couldn’t stop him. Vorugal’s tail struck Vax a third time, nearly knocking him unconscious. Though it seemed counter to his interests, Gilmore was seriously considering, if Vax survived... perhaps a lesson in draconic strengths and weaknesses was in order. Only a fool went for a dragon’s tail. 

From Vax’ildan’s vantage point, Gilmore watched Raishan emerge from thin air and poison her chromatic ally with her breath weapon before disappearing again. That was brave of her, but the battle must be going poorly for Raishan to have to reveal herself like that. 

In Whitestone, Gilmore could almost hear Jarett murmuring soothing words to him as he dressed Gilmore, but he couldn’t focus on that. Vorugal was attacking Vox Machina with his ice breath again; Gilmore couldn’t see whom--at least it wasn’t Vax. He thought he could hear Scanlan’s voice in the distance, singing a Healing Word. Was someone close to death? Gilmore hoped there was a good reason why Vax let go and tried to fly toward his friends, bringing him into Vorugal’s bite range yet again. 

Gilmore shouted as Vorugal caught Vax’ildan in his jaws, this time with a sickening crunch of bone, and he watched Vax go limp in the dragon’s maw. Gilmore wept as Vorugal spit Vax’ildan’s body onto the ground, where he lay, a bloody, broken mess on the pristine snow beside Pike. There wasn’t even hope of the cleric healing him, because a moment later, the white tail came down on Pike, crushing the life out of her, as well. 

Though she was only feet away from her dying loved ones, Keyleth attacked Vorugal and swept away in air elemental form. “No!” Gilmore could feel Jarett’s arms around him, but his consciousness remained with his fallen Vax’ildan, hoping against hope that one of them had the wherewithal to heal. 

He cried out again when, seconds later, Vorugal’s ice breath froze both Vax and Pike’s prone bodies into the snow. Gilmore clung to Jarett, feeling him there, but not seeing him, as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

Sick to his stomach, Gilmore was about to let go of the vision and come back to Whitestone, when he heard feet crunching through the snow. Grog leapt into his field of vision and poured a potion, first into Pike, and then another down Vax’ildan’s throat. Gilmore laid his head against Jarett’s shoulder as he watched Vax begin to breathe again, though he was shivering with hypothermia from Vorugal’s breath. “The two of you, inside the mansion. Now,” Grog ordered. Bless him. Thank gods for Grog. 

Vex’ahlia followed a moment later, casting Cure Wounds on her brother, and also telling him to get inside. The danger must have passed, because the only sense of urgency now seemed to be to get their fallen comrades well. Gilmore watched Vax roll shakily to his knees and pull Pike over one shoulder to carry her with him as he crawled inside the mansion. And once Vax was inside, Gilmore let go with a splitting headache. 

_“They are alive?”_ Jarett asked, brushing Gilmore’s tears away with his thumb. 

_“I think so.”_ Gilmore shut his eyes, trying to breathe. _“But it was far too close. Far too close.”_

Jarett held him and kissed Gilmore’s face over and over. _“You should rest. It’s still the middle of the night.”_

Gilmore opened his eyes, frowning. _“I should tell Allura--”_

 _“_ ** _I_ ** _will tell her,”_ Jarett said firmly. _“Back in bed with you.”_

He stood up, and Gilmore looked up at him. _“Will you be back?”_

 _“I will be back as soon as I can,”_ Jarett promised. Gilmore grabbed his hand before he could leave, pulling Jarett back for one desperate, anxiety-ridden goodbye kiss. Jarett paused, looking into Gilmore’s eyes. _“This is not making me want to leave.”_

Gilmore huffed a soft laugh. _“Go. Go, and come back to me. Please.”_

“ _Always,_ ” Jarett said, kissing Gilmore’s throat one last time before rushing out the door. 

His head felt heavier than usual. Gilmore reached up to find Lockheed had nested in his hair, and was purring its little heart out. _“Thank you, friend,”_ he told it in Draconic.

Gilmore washed his face, pulled on a sleeping gown, and climbed back into bed to await Jarett’s return. It couldn’t have been half an hour when Gilmore opened his eyes to find Raishan standing there in the dark. _“It’s done,”_ she said. _“Thordak’s lapdog is no more.”_

Gilmore sat up, looking her over for any injuries. _“You seem well.”_

 _“They did very well,”_ she said. _“Given the stupidity of their plan.”_

 _“Well, where are they?”_ If she did not know he’d been watching, Gilmore was not going to show his hand.

_“Resting and celebrating, no doubt.”_

_“What of Vorugal’s remains?”_

Her smile was sharp as a razor. _“Butchered for meat like a fatted calf.”_ Gilmore gaped in horror. _“The Ravenites had a hard time feeding themselves in the snow.”_

Oh thank gods, then it wasn’t his people who’d done it. 

_“Perhaps your pet ants will bring you back a claw or some hide as a souvenir.”_

Gilmore shuddered, feeling sick. _“What of the heartstone?”_

 _“All of his organs went for meat,”_ she said. _“Some lucky Dragonborn is no doubt preparing a very edifying heart stew for their evening meal.”_

Gilmore brushed his hands across his face, trying to hold back the nausea.

 _“Don’t weep for him,”_ Raishan said. _“He was a beast, barely worth more than the ones he hunted, and hardly more intelligent.”_

 _“No,”_ Gilmore said. Not after Tiberius, and--nearly--Vax. _“I’ll shed no tears for Vorugal.”_ He looked up at her. _“What now?”_

_“Now, they will no doubt come for me. So let us plan for that inevitability.”_

Oh gods. He really had agreed to this. _“What did you have in mind?”_

It bothered Gilmore that Raishan had given no details of the battle. Even though he’d seen most of it, Gilmore needed to hear that they were all safe. And he wondered: had they even told Kima about Raishan? That would make a difference, once they returned. 

They made a tentative plan, and Raishan left to rest. Jarett returned almost as soon as she’d disappeared. _“What did Allura say?”_ Gilmore asked Jarett in Marquesian.

_“The Arcanist will be by in a few hours. But, for now, rest.”_

Gilmore sighed. _“I don’t know if I can, after that.”_

 _“You can,”_ Jarett told him firmly, holding Gilmore’s eye contact as he stripped back down to nothing. 

Gilmore smiled. _“Are you trying to distract me, J’arett?”_

 _“Normally, yes,”_ Jarett said, coming back to the bed. _“But for now, sleep.”_ He kissed Gilmore’s forehead. 

_“Hold me?”_ Gilmore asked. Jarett slid beneath the sheets next to him, wrapping Gilmore in a tight embrace. 

_“I promise,”_ he said, pressing his lips to Gilmore’s temple. _“I will never die for you. For you, I will live.”_ And somehow, that was exactly what Gilmore needed to hear. 

_“Be careful, J’arett. You’re going to make me love you.”_

_“I wouldn’t presume, my lord.”_ Jarett rubbed Gilmore’s back until he fell asleep.


End file.
